So what does some of our modern language say about ourselves?

Unfortunately these days, there are a lot of bad habits in writing and speech that are becoming increasingly prevalent. Many of these form part of a meaningless jargon designed only to prevent silence or to obfuscate the truth. Such a style of writing or speech would have been considered ‘uneducated’ just a few years ago but increasingly, such woeful examples of English are becoming normal in the most unlikely of places.

Many people have written about bad modern trends in language.

I understand that it’s a well-worn path and I am not trying to suggest that the English language is in a rapid decline. Nor am I going to participate in a popular Australian tradition and blame “the Americans” for all of these awful pieces of language either.

Nevertheless, I feel that I should document these particularly common examples in the hope at it will cause just a few people to consider how they express themselves vocally and in writing.

This is my bad English “hit list”:

1. You (as in I)

Here’s an example of a statement written in last Thursday’s Herald Sun by columnist Wendy Tuohy:

“Quite often, you have to remind yourself that it’s only April Fool’s Day once a year, so as crazy as it sounds what you’re reading must be true.”

This is, perhaps, the most common of the vocal offences and I am alarmed to find such poor expression now appearing in the columns of Australia’s most popular daily newspaper.

No, Wendy, I do not need to remind myself that it’s only April Fools’ Day (note the apostrophe) once a year. Perhaps other people might? A far better way of expressing this may be:

“Quite often, I have to remind myself that it’s only April Fools’ Day once a year, so as crazy as it sounds what I’m reading must be true.”

Or, if speaking generally:

“Quite often, we have to remind ourselves that it’s only April Fools’ Day once a year, so as crazy as it sounds what we’re reading must be true.”

I won’t even get into Wendy’s problematic suggestion that writing has a sound, but I am confident that you (yes, you dear reader!) understand my point. People are increasingly substituting the words I or we or even one for you. It’s wrong, yet is increasingly prevalent.

2. Repurpose (v.)

This particularly ugly word was delivered to me by an American speaker at a conference a couple of years ago. My colleagues and I, confused, looked at each other with amazement whilst the fellow kept uttering the word with a straight face as if it was legitimate. It isn’t.

According to the Shorter Oxford English Dictionary, purpose is normally a noun that refers to the reason that something is done or made an object to be attained, amongst other meanings. It can be used as a verb, but such use is archaic. In the 16th century, to purpose was to propose. Five hundred years later, such usage is unheard-of.

The word repurpose exists on the assumption that purpose is a verb that can describe how an object is given its function. For instance, I cannot say “I purposed this crate to hold milk bottles” as it is utterly nonsensical. Yet if I turn that crate upside down, according to some I can say “I repurposed this crate into a stool“.

If I resuspend an object, it means that I could have suspended it in the first place. If I redelegate a task, it means that I could have delegated it previously. The re- prefix before verbs in this context suggests that something is carried-out a second time. So you can see that repurpose makes no sense at all  because it couldn’t be purposed to begin with.

3. Incentivise (v.)

This is another nasty piece of jargon. The -ise (or -ize in US English) suffix is appended to nouns or adjectives and means “to make”. So to privatise means “to make private”; to socialise  means “to make social” and capitalise means “to make capital”.

Presumably, incentivise means “to make incentive”. It doesn’t of course, because it’s not a real word, especially in the manner in which it’s used: “We need to incentivise our workers to be more productive“.

No, you need to provide an incentive for your workers to be more productive. Yes, it’s a few more words but it makes a whole lot more sense.

Monetise is another horrible word that also fits into this category.

4. Speculate

This particular  example of inappropriate use appears to be popular with our politicians, most notably treasurer Wayne Swan. The Oxford Shorter English Dictionary lists speculate as a verb that now usually means to “consider, conjecture, wonder”. In essence, a person who speculates doesn’t know.

So this response of Wayne Swan’s made no sense at all when he was asked by ABC’s 7.30 what may or may not be included in the upcoming federal budget that he was preparing himself:

“Well I’m not going to buy into speculating about what is or is not in the budget in relation to any number of areas of policy”.

Back in 2009, he more-or-less said the same thing to Ali Moore, telling her that  he was “…not going to speculate about individual items in the budget”. Yes, his budget.

This particular affliction isn’t limited to Mr. Swan. State National Party MP Damian Drum told the Bendigo Advertiser on 1 May 2012 (p.4) that “It would be improper to speculate on whether any item in particular is included in the (state) budget…”.

The problem that these folk have is that they know what is in the budget. They just don’t want to say. If they truly are speculating, then that’s an even bigger concern.

5. Learning (n.)

Learning is a singular noun that describes “the action of receiving instruction or acquiring knowledge”, taken from the verb learn.

Can you have a learning? I’d have thought not.

Yet it seems in today’s corporate world one can use learning as a synonym for lesson. If you don’t believe me, here are some recent quotes from public officials and prominent businesspeople:

• City of Warrnambool City strategy co-ordinator Lisa Gervasoni said of a festival “It has been an honour to share our learnings about great Warrnamboolians of the past with the community and to meet their descendants.” (Warrnambool Standard, 9 May 2012, p. 2)
• Australian Submarine Corporation CEO Steve Ludlam told AAP MediaNet “The insights and learnings that can be taken from the Collins Class submarine project will be instrumental in the development of the future submarine” (3 May 2012)
• Maroochydore Chamber of Commerce president Ross Hepworth told Kawana Weekly that “David’s passion for sharing the Tasmanian experience will no doubt provide valuable learnings for our own regional economy” (3 May 2012, p.3)
• Rupert Murdoch even managed to squeeze the word twice into a single sentence when he was quoted in the Australian (27 April 2012, p.12) saying “Just as one of the great learnings for us as a business has been not to allow an operating company to investigate itself without absolute transparency to the corporate centre, which I think is one of the learnings from the failure in 2006 and 2007 of News Corp to get to the bottom of this, I also think it is difficult to allow an industry in and of itself to control itself on a voluntary basis, given the concerns that we obviously all have”.

Clearly I am not the only person to become especially irritated with learnings. In an article called What the Heck are Learnings?, Maeve Maddox cites some even worse of examples of this word being used quite inappropriately in a number of surprising contexts.

As a word, learnings is especially horrible, but what hope do we have when even the Department of Education in Queensland uses it? Of all of the organisations within our community, I’d have expected the Department of Education to have heard of lessons!

6. Stakeholder

Our own Macquarie Concise Dictionary lists a stakeholder as “one who has a pecuniary interest in an enterprise, having contributed funds to it”.

Listening to contemporary corporate jargon, a person would have no appreciation of the true meaning because in 2012, stakeholder has come to describe just about anyone who has something even vaguely to do with an organisation. Of course, one must “engage” one’s stakeholders if one is to succeed.

For instance, Australia Post has a whole page dedicated to stakeholders, as does Woolworths Limited, Veolia and the Salvation Army. It seems that stakeholders are suddenly everywhere.

The Challenge

So how do we beat this? I really don’t know.

As a community, should we raise awareness? Should we engage our stakeholders? We clearly need to incentivise the population to adopt these key learnings and cease repurposing words. You know what I mean, right?

Ugh!

There didn’t seem to be any fanfare about it at all and I cannot find a single press release about the change. What I find interesting is how the government science agency’s new logo bears a striking resemblance to that of Cisco Systems, a United States-based information technology company.

Designing unique logos is a difficult business at the best of times and I am not suggesting that CSIRO has engaged in any dishonesty. It just that their logo looks remarkably similar to Cisco’s.

CSIRO’s logo is probably a logical evolutionary leap from their previous one, which consisted of a stylised outline of Australia transected by lines. Cisco’s logo, which dates back to 2006,  is derived from an earlier symbol that featured a stylised Golden Gate bridge.

I can’t help but think that given their shared history in Wi-Fi development and the fact that there is only one letter difference in their respective names, a similar logo may be inevitable for two organisations that seem intertwined in several ways.

It was a great event, as per usual.

The popular festival of floriculture and horticulture made me think about how it’s come such a long way from what it used to be. I recall that it was called Garden Week back in the 1990′s and was held in the Fitzroy Gardens. In those days it was a much more modest event. Regardless, for a child who had a fascination with plants and horticulture it was an event to look forward to.

I remember going to Garden Week to represent Vermont Secondary College in the 1993 Victorian School’s Garden Awards, where I met Jane Edmanson and the late Kevin Heinze. From recollection, we didn’t win but it was a great day out and Edmanson and Heinze were both very friendly.

The show changed its name to the Melbourne International Flower and Garden Show (MIFGS) in 1995 and has expanded considerably since. On and off, I have been about every second year. The event is a great way to keep up-to-date with horticultural trends and fashions and see the latest products.

For me the starting point is always the Royal Exhibition Building. Traditionally this space has been filled with florists, floricultural displays, horticultural art and paintings as well as a place to host lectures from gardening ‘experts’.

I attended last Wednesday, which happened to be the opening day. Fortunately I work for an employer who offers ‘flexi leave’, so I used some of my credits and joined the retirees for a day at the show. Past experience has told me that this is eminently sensible, particularly because it’s much less crowded mid-week and the lack of prams and small children makes the flow of pedestrian traffic much smoother.

After arriving and looking at some of the displays, I decided to have a morning tea which I have to confess was extremely disappointing.

It never ceases to amaze me how the organisers of such events put so much money into the show, but then hire such poor-quality caterers to provide refreshments. The morning tea stand was extremely disorganised. Our order was lost after they took our money and receipt and then lost their only record of what we’d purchased. When we complained, they then questioned why we had no receipt! On offer was a small selection of uninspiring factory-produced pastries wrapped in plastic, as well as low-grade pulpy juices, a range of soft drinks and tea or coffee.

After morning tea I decided to view the stalls. I was somewhat surprised to discover that the Royal Horticultural Society of Victoria still exists. This once mighty organisation has become mute in recent years, but it was nice to see their stall which had an elegant display of plants from some of the state’s gardening societies.

My favourite stall within the Royal Exhibition Building was that of Flowers Victoria. This division of the Victorian Farmers’ Federation produced a beautiful but contemporary display of floral art in a corner of the hall.

I liked how they’d used winchester bottles to great effect in some of the floral displays. These looked beautiful when the sun shone through them. The stall also featured some lovely lilies and orchids in a more traditional display.

As one would expect at such an event, there were a number of gardening ‘personalities’ to be seen. Personally speaking, I am not too excited about spotting such folk but I was amused at the amount of excited attention that Johanna Griggs received. She certainly out-shone perennial favourite Jane Edmanson, who’s been doing the rounds for decades on Gardening Australia and radio stations 3MP and 3AW in Melbourne.

One thing I noticed as I walked the hall was that it seemed to be somewhat emptier this year when compared to previous years. Perhaps in light of the Global Financial Crisis, fewer exhibitors were present? Nevertheless, there were some terrific floral art displays inside the hall from a range of companies and artists.

Once outside, I had a much more enjoyable time looking at the trade and plant displays. It’s always great to see the specialist nurseries show off their unique varieties and there’s always some interest for me with the season’s new cultivar releases.

At one of the stands was Colin Campbell, a Gardening Australia veteran presenter who had a considerable audience. I can’t say that I was especially impressed when he told his captive audience that a potato tuber was “a seed”. I understand that presenters need to make gardening understandable for the masses, but scientific accuracy should always remain a priority in my view. Poor old Colin Campbell also warned his audience about the perils of  holding seedlings by the stem, which he demonstrated by… um, well….

One of my favourite moments was during lunch, when The Giant Seagulls came to entertain the crowds. These two human-sized birds provided much enjoyment for everyone as they squawked, fought amongst themselves, picked at peoples plates and of course begged for chips. I found myself laughing many times at their antics!

The lunch offerings were mildly better than the morning tea and the prices reasonable, although the choices were somewhat limited. We were able to get a seat rather quickly which would simply be impossible on a weekend.

After lunch, I went through all the various trade displays, noting the new cultivars that have been released and reviewing the new products on display.

I especially enjoyed the displays from Tesselaar’s, Oasis/Floriana and Gardenworld. The Gardenworld exhibit incorporated the Royal Horticultural Society of Victoria’s “Best Hanging Basket” competition.

I had quite a nice time walking around and choosing my favourite. The RHSV were running a competition where attendees could vote for their favourite basket and go into the draw to win a prize, which was a rather ordinary-looking planter box that looked like it was built from a packing crate.

Following on from the trade stalls, I viewed the display gardens which had been placed in an “Avenue of Achievable Gardens”. I liked the concept!

This was my favourite garden, although I am not sure how ‘achievable’ it is for a person on a normal income. I like the ironwork in the pergola and the sweeping and layered curves in the grass terraces and they make this shady garden work rather well.

Perhaps the final highlight were these rather cheeky garden chairs from another display garden that featured derrières!

It is a pity that better use isn’t made of potted colour and bedding annuals in garden displays. Perhaps people consider these to be old-fashioned or horticultural clichés or perhaps after a decade of drought, people consider them to require too much water.

The MIFGS has now finished for 2012 but I will be back in 2013. As always it was a good day out and I can recommend it to anyone with an interest in horticulture or gardening. Adult entry was $22.

I have had an account on Flickr since 2007 and have uploaded more than 3,100 photographs in that time that have been viewed by more than 107,000 people.

I have made many online friends as a result of Flickr and the website has been useful in attracting customers to my own photo website Photologium. I have always believed that Flickr is the best photo-sharing website and continue to believe this. But something disturbing has been settling in the back of my mind about Flickr for quite some time.

Recent posts by high-profile photographers have started to ask the haunting question: Is Flickr dead, or at least in decline?

Evidence for a decline in Flickr is scant and unreliable. But a number of anecdotal factors point to a shift within the photo-sharing community in the last 12 months. In particular, Google+ has been launched and Google has been working hard to gain a share for Google+ via Picasa in the photo-sharing market. Additionally, sites like 500px have slowly built a stronger following and even Facebook has improved its photo-handling capabilities, despite it still being an awful place to deposit photographs.

One of the more worrying indicators is the well-documented lack of innovation at Flickr.

Whilst Facebook, Google+ and Twitter are constantly tweaking their interface and making changes (with varying degrees of success), Flickr has remained relatively static for quite some time. In fact, Yahoo has been sacking staff including high-profile key staff at Flickr. This can’t be good for a company that desperately needs to be dynamic and innovative.

One of the most insightful articles came from Flickr designer Timoni West, who ratted on her employer out of frustration at the complete lack of attention paid to the “recent activity” page on Flickr. Ms. West made some salient points about the social aspects of Flickr which (I agree) are the most important part of the website, but haven’t received attention in years.

Yahoo has become so lazy and stagnant that Microsoft tried to buy it in 2010 and launched a hostile bid, only to be rebuffed by Yahoo. This would have made Microsoft the owners of Flickr. I cannot help but wonder if that would have been a good thing.

Just this week Yahoo appointed a new CEO in former PayPal boss Scott Thompson, who has already addressed the staff by saying that the company needs to get “back to innovation”. This is an encouraging development.

What’s wrong with Flickr?

Here are my main concerns with Flickr at present:

1. The front page doesn’t do its job. 

I fundamentally agree with Timoni West that the activities page is woefully deficient:

This page should be letting me know who’s posted photos since I last logged-in, but it almost doesn’t. An awful lot of contact’s photos ‘slip by’ unless I click on the latest uploads page or each person’s photostream. With 300+ contacts, the latter option isn’t viable. All I have is a thin static strip of thumbnails at the bottom of the activities page.

If it were up to me, the Flickr blog link would go to the bottom of the page along with “people you may know” and instead have comments and uploads more prominent at the top of the page. Like the latest tweets on Twitter, these could be delivered in real-time.

Perhaps the worst feature is the absolutely useless “replies to your comments” page. I often comment on other people’s photos, yet tracking their responses a few days later is near impossible. In this realm, Facebook wins hands-down with their “notifications” tab at the top of the page. Unlike Facebook, Flickr lists as a “response” any comment that any user has added to any photo that I have commented on at any time. Think about it: That’s an appallingly low signal to noise ratio. So basically I have to remember to manually ‘chase up’ any questions or comments that I may have asked a photographer. I honestly don’t remember most of the time.

2. Geotagging is a half-finished idea

One of the best innovations to emerge from Flickr (back in 2006) was geotagging, which is where an image can be added to a map to show where it was taken. This is brilliant, because it provides a map beside each photo that users can click on to see where the image was taken.

Or so it should. Unfortunately, I live in Australia.

The above is an image of Sydney Harbour Bridge that I shot back in 2007. As you can see, there is an unlabelled map and geographical information presented to the right. If I hover my mouse over the map and zoom in, this is what I get:

What a useless map! Yet if I do the same for this image of the Mall of Asia in Manila, Philippines, I get a detailed map with street names, which can be enlarged:

Similar applies for this photograph of the famous Ginza neon signs in Tokyo, Japan:

So why is it possible to provide detailed maps for Japan and the Philippines, but not Australia?

Worse still, Flickr actually fabricates Australian locations. For instance, if I try to add something to the northern part of Melbourne’s CBD, Flickr will call it “Melbourne Heliport”, of which there is no such location. This image of Mill Park library is actually in the fictional location of “Nillumbik” rather than “Mill Park”. Whilst Flickr has added a facility to choose a location should they get it wrong, it’s not much use if the correct suburb name isn’t even on the list!

Flickr have been hearing complaints about this for years and done nothing.

3. Flickr needs ‘Circles’

One of the common criticisms of Facebook was that there was no way to segregate your content. Everyone from ones’ mother to a preschool classmate or a neighbour had to be a “friend” and therefore saw all the same content.

When Google+ launched, they introduced “circles”. A user can have as many circles as they like consisting of whomever they wish. They can then serve content selectively to their various circles.

In Flickr’s case, we are stuck with “Contact”, “Friend” or “Family”. Back in the day, this made Flickr look a whole lot more innovative than Facebook but now it is Flickr who is lagging behind. I would desperately like to divide my “Friends” up into sub-groups, but can’t. This means that I have to make some tough choices when uploading private photos, the sort of choices that Google+ users don’t need to think about.

Is Flickr in decline?

This is a hotly-debated topic.

According to Alexa, Flickr is losing a lot of traffic and even anecdotally, I sense the same thing. People who used to be active on Flickr are dropping-off. Comments on my photos have been in a steady decline for ages now and images that would have easily gained me 20+ comments a couple of years ago are now earning me less.

Photographer Thomas Hawk, who has written extensively about Flickr, seems to believe that people are leaving Flickr in droves for Google+. I am less convinced. I do agree that people are leaving but it seems to me that Facebook is winning the ‘social photography’ battle, despite it’s appalling treatment of photos. Whether Google+ will overtake Facebook as the first choice for ‘social photographers’, time will tell.

My view is that there is an effective ‘schism’ emerging in the vast world of online photography.

Back in 2006/7, Facebook was in its infancy as a social medium, although growing. MySpace was still dominant but really didn’t handle photos well. Both Flickr and digital photography were mature and so for most people, Flickr was the obvious place to upload and share photos. This applied as much to serious photographers (who enjoy the art) as the ‘social photographers’ who were just interested in documenting their weekend parties and the like.

Fast forward to 2012 and the landscape is vastly altered. Facebook is in the ascendency and continues to evolve rapidly. Google has launched Google+ to compete and is rapidly growing. Both social media websites make the sharing of private photos very easy, because users have a network of friends who will log-on to these networks regardless of whether they are sharing photos of themselves or not. They are there to share news and gossip and the photography is merely an add-on.

From my experience, if I want to share my private ‘social’ photos on Flickr, I have to prompt people because for the most part, my friends will not log onto Flickr unless they want to upload some of their own pictures or inspect mine. They are not interested in photography per se.

I think what might be happening is that the social photographers are probably leaving Flickr and taking up residence at Facebook or Google+.

The people who remain are the serious photographers who enjoy the art of photography and occasionally have some ‘social’ photos to share privately with family or friends. Under this scenario, it would seem logical to believe that Flickr will continue to decline until the majority of its users are the people who enjoy photographic art.

The future of Flickr

It doesn’t help that the aforementioned problems aren’t addressed by Yahoo.

Facebook and Google+ are working tirelessly to innovate and make sharing easier, whilst Flickr stagnates. One could say that the loss of ‘social photographers’ from Flickr is inevitable simply because Flickr is a photo-sharing site and Facebook and Google+ are all-encompassing social media. Perhaps YouTube will suffer a similar fate in coming years when videography becomes cheaper and video-hosting on Facebook and Google+ improves?

A bigger problem is faced by Flickr if the photographic enthusiasts leave the site.

Thomas Hawk claims that this is what is happening and cites the departure of Ingo Meckmann as an example. I don’t know either of these people and cannot say what agendas they may have or how influential they really are. I hope Hawk is wrong, but it’s possible that he’d know more than I.

For professionals and photographic enthusiasts like myself, Flickr is still the better service. There are plenty more features that Flickr has that Google+ doesn’t, but I am sure that won’t last forever unless something changes at Yahoo.

Historically, Flickr has always had a good community. This community is shrinking and it’s time that Flickr does something to stop the decline. It’s not too late but Flickr (like Yahoo) has to get back into the business of innovation. Yahoo needs to make Flickr as dynamic and interactive and easy-to-used as the technology of 2012 will allow.

Flickr will also probably need to look at their pricing structure as Google+ grows and expands. For now, I still believe US$25 per annum is a good price to pay for unlimited uploads, but I suspect that Google will eventually try to undercut Flickr.

Back on 13 April 2006 when I joined Flickr, it was like a revelation. As Flickr developed through 2007 and 2008, it only became more exciting. It won’t be hard for Yahoo to rejuvenate Flickr, but the resources and the will need to be there.

With the hiring of Scott Thompson as CEO, let’s hope there’s some positive change in the air for Flickr in 2012.

Update:

11:10am, 14 January 2012: Flickr have published a blog post pledging that the company is “starting 2012 with a renewed sense of focus” and that users can expect “significant updates to Flickr’s user experience, new features and offerings across devices”. You can read more on the Flickr Blog.

I have to say I was rather unimpressed with the sort of accommodation that was on offer at their Newcastle and Gosford establishments and wanted to share my experiences with you all in the form of a review.

I have been aware of the budget Formule 1 chain for quite some time but I had no idea what I was in for as I’d never stayed in one before. Clearly, the price should have been an indication to me, but it wasn’t.

The first stay was at Formule 1 Newcastle, which is actually in a far-flung dull suburb called Wallsend on the west of the city. I have stayed in motel rooms in Tokyo and in all honesty, this was hardly any bigger. In fact, I suspect that many of New South Wales’ petty criminals would enjoy a similar level of amenity in the state’s low-security prisons, but without the various hanging points.

Here’s how my room presented itself as I stepped in.

It was exceedingly hot in the room, so I had to turn on a loud and rattly air-conditioner to cool it down. As can be seen here, there is a double and single bunk bed, a single chair, a basin, a towel, a television and a clock-radio; the latter two of which are bolted to a peculiar angled bracket on the wall. Clearly there’s been a spate of clock-radio thefts that I was unaware of.

The room was tiny. The space between the end of the bed and the wall would have been no more than 40cm.

When I turned around, I could see the bathroom:

When I stayed in Tokyo, the motel had a similar Portaloo-styled prefab bathroom arrangement, but in the Japanese case the basin was within proximity of the toilet /shower and not on the other side of the room. There was no shower curtain and the aqua green paint had come off in places:

Now I can live with basic amenities for a night on a short holiday, but this was barely on the threshold of acceptability.

There was no bath mat or shower curtain and the disgraceful shower-rose sprayed water absolutely everywhere which meant that water unavoidably ended-up all over the floor. Ironically, this fountain that masqueraded as a shower rose made rinsing shampoo from my hair nearly impossible. Unhelpfully, the basin was on the other side of the room so I had nowhere to rest my possessions whilst showering.

There was a creepy hole above the shower that was supposed to act as an exhaust fan. Now that wouldn’t be an issue in itself except for the stern notice on the bathroom door which informed me that my cubicle must be enclosed whilst I shower unless I wanted to make a donation to the Rural Fire Service.

After I had my shower, fearful of setting-off the fire alarm and with nowhere to hang my towel, I decided that a cup of tea was in order.

But I was wrong.

For whilst there was a modest basin and a small disposable plastic cup from which I could drink, there was no kettle and no sachets of tea or coffee. Even Wollongong’s Worst Motel in Australia could manage to provide an electric kettle for its guests. Come to think of it, the Worst Motel in Australia was also able to provide a refrigerator whilst Formule 1 couldn’t.

So there I was, in an overheated dog box where I couldn’t open the bathroom door, or make myself a cup of tea or even buy some food to eat in the morning. Pathetic.

The window to my room was miserably small, more like a portal really. Keen to have something to eat, I decided to leave. Outside was this rather long, hot and dingy corridor:

It felt like a prison block. Curiously, there was a P.A. system in the corridor that was playing rock music off one of the local Newcastle radio stations. Even when I was trying to sleep at 11pm, I could still hear its tunes wafting under my door, although it had been switched-off when I awoke at 7am.

As I proceeded downstairs, I saw a sign offering a $7 breakfast in the morning. When I enquired, the friendly manageress informed me that it was a “cold continental breakfast”. I had  no idea what that was, but decided that for $7 I could go to McDonald’s and have a breakfast that might have been just as nutritionally deficient but at least it would be hot.

Of course that was easier said than done because it seems that Wallsend is serviced by no-one except a Franklin’s supermarket and a “meat warehouse”. I had to drive more than 10 kilometres before I found a supermarket! I have no idea what Wallsend residents do with their lives, but supermarket shopping clearly isn’t part of the routine.

Tired and frustrated, I returned to my prison-like room and looked at the car park view out of my window, before retiring for the night knowing that despite it all, I had only parted with $75 for this substandard room.

I felt comforted because the next night, I would be staying in the Gosford version of Formule 1 and surely when I was paying $100 a night there, I could expect something better.

Alas, I was wrong.

The Gosford Formule 1 was almost a clone of the Newcastle/Wallsend one, except that the basin was thoughtfully placed into the bathroom this time. Unfortunately the shower curtain was merely decoration and had no effect on preventing a lot of  water from flooding the bathroom.

As you can see, the toilet is almost within the shower, so small is the bathroom. Just as was the case with the Newcastle Formule 1, threatening signs regarding the smoke detectors were placed on the walls.

Another distinction between Newcastle and Gosford’s Formule 1 motels was that in Newcastle, one could open the window to collect a breeze (or act as insurance against wayward steam from the shower). Clearly such conduct would not be tolerated in Gosford, where a cable lock had been applied to ensure that nothing more than a slither of the outside world could be experienced from within the cell room.

I can’t say that I was too impressed with the service at Gosford, either. When I arrived, I gave my name but the manager was adamant that he couldn’t find my booking, until he looked at me and said “I can only find one here that starts with ‘Doctor’”. When I replied by saying “That’s correct” he demanded to see a driver’s licence as he clearly didn’t believe that I could have earned the title. In fact, there was a generally condescending tone throughout his conversation with me.

Unfortunately service and hospitality were not features of my Formule 1 experience. For anyone wanting a bed and nothing else for the night then Formule 1 is probably the way to go. But if like me you may want to have a comfortable shower, make a cup of tea, use a cupboard, make a phone call, open a window, use a microwave or store food in a refrigerator whilst in your dormitory room, then perhaps other local options may be preferable.

To be fair, the Formule 1 website never said that such commonplace facilities were provided. Like a colour television, I had always just assumed that every Australian motel provided such basics in 2012.

Perhaps the final symbolic observation comes from this emergency evacuation plan on the back of my cell room door. As you can see, it wasn’t really of any help as they hadn’t even bothered to mark my room on the plan.

For a mere $10 more in Gosford, I could have stayed in a real motel and actually been comfortable. This will serve as a lesson for next time.

I sincerely wish everyone a safe and Merry Christmas and all the best for the year ahead.

Christmas is not only a time to celebrate our Christian faith with friends and family, but a time to relax and enjoy all that the season has to offer.

Whatever Christmas means for you, may the season be filled with joy and peace. I wish you an enjoyable and rewarding year ahead.

Regards,

Coca-Cola Amatil, who manufacture Coca-Cola in Australia, have pioneered a campaign where the 150 most popular Australian names have been randomly printed on bottles and cans of the beverage. This has been a stroke of marketing brilliance as people have searched for ‘their’ bottle including those who don’t even drink Coca-Cola.

Last week, whilst in company I discovered my own name printed on a bottle that was sitting at the front of a drinks cabinet at a local bakery.

Of course I was inclined to buy the bottle and I don’t even like Coca-Cola.

In all honesty I don’t know why I bought it, especially because I consider myself to be quite resistant to “marketing ploys”. Regardless, I can’t argue that the novelty value is there, even if I gave the beverage away.

The “Share a Coke” campaign was the work of Ogilvy & Mather and commenced in September 2011 with the 150 most-popular Australian names. Following the launch of the campaign it is believed that Coca-Cola have experienced a substantial increase in sales as well as invaluable social media and news exposure.

For those folk with less-conventional names or nicknames, Coca-Cola visited shopping centres where people could queue and get a custom name such as Udaya, Khuntoria, Chibi or Skyro printed on their can of Coke.

The campaign was so successful that in November Coca-Cola announced that a ballot would be held to add another 50 names to the mix in 2012. That ballot has now been completed and the names announced.

Following the success of the campaign in Australia, Share a Coke will be expanded internationally in 2012.

The last of these visits was Cloudehill Nursery and Garden in Olinda, which is located in the picturesque Dandenong Ranges.

The last time I went to Cloudehill was in 1996, so it’s been a while. Being based in the Dandenongs, it is a pleasant drive to get to these gardens which can easily be spotted from the road by the bright green fence and prominent sign.

Unfortunately I have to report that I was made to feel quite unwelcome when I entered the garden on account of the stare I received from one of the staff. When I went in to pay, I got the distinct impression that I was causing some sort of inconvenience as there seemed to be some reluctance to serve me. When the individual noticed I had a tripod in my hand, I was given a ‘look’ and asked to explain my intent for the photos. And that’s $7.50 thank-you.

Once through the gate, I decided to put that episode behind me and enjoy Cloudehill.

From my previous visit I recalled there being long gardens – almost like ‘corridors’ – that were sectioned-off with arched walls. I soon re-discovered these. I have seen images of these gardens almost overflowing with herbaceous perennials but of course I wasn’t going to be a witness to that sort of spectacle in late October. Nevertheless, large pots of flowering tulips and an interesting array of plants still provided a beautiful environment in which to stroll.

I chose to walk these long gardens before exploring the other parts of Cloudehill. True to its name, the site is on a hill and there are some considerable slopes in places. The designers have gone to considerable trouble to ensure that the walks make the most of the available views whilst being comfortable underfoot. A number of terraces offer spectacular views of the site.

Cloudehill has a considerable collection of unusual plants which always impresses me. I was really pleased to see Corydalis flexuosa growing below a conifer. I love the vivid blues of this species’ flowers.

From the long garden, I walked up a level to the vegetable garden, the beds of which were lined with tilted bricks. The vegetables looked lovely in their rows but the vivid purple of the English lavender (Lavandula angustifolia) that was planted in a long row beside the vegetable gardens was stunning. Of course it was full of bees so there was a faint sound of bees’ wings as I strolled.

From there, I wandered down to some of the lower parts of the garden. There is a particularly nice part of Cloudehill that features a range of sculptures, including this rather unusual garden seat.

The garden seat is located on a terrace that offers excellent views right across the garden.

As one proceeds further down the hill into the lower part of Cloudehill, the canopies of the large trees cast considerable shade over the paths. It is lovely to walk below the arched boughs as the breeze slowly passes through.

At the very bottom of the garden is a sloping hill which was covered in flowering bulbs including bluebells (Hyacinthoides non-scripta). Whilst I personally don’t get excited by English-style fields of flowering bulbs, these did look rather nice with the large trees providing a dark backdrop.

From there, I proceeded back up the garden below the tree canopies to the top.

I was quite keen to have a meal whilst at Cloudehill but unfortunately the access from the garden was closed-off which meant that I had to leave the garden before having a meal. Had I been able to access the garden after lunch, I’d have dined there but because I couldn’t, I decided to go into town for lunch instead.

Aside from the garden and restaurant, there is also a modest nursery which stocks a range of species seen growing in the garden.

Whilst the customer service was somewhat disappointing, I enjoyed my visit to Cloudehill and would still recommend a visit to others. I think it would be nice to return in mid-summer to see how the perennials have grown and thus see the garden at its very finest.

Cloudehill is located at 89 Olinda Monbulk Road, Olinda. Adult admission to the garden is $7.50.

From the age of three, I was digging nasturtium and tomato seedlings out of Dad’s compost bin and planting them in the garden. That interest never waned and so as I was growing up, one of the very special treats I got to enjoy on certain school holidays was a trip to Gardenworld in Braeside.

Gardenworld is a sprawling horticultural complex established by the Jackson family and consisting of seven independently-owned businesses that each specialise in different products or greenlife. For a small child fascinated by plants, it was like a theme park full of places to explore and all sorts of peculiar plant species.

By far the most iconic part of Gardenworld was the enormous cactus that stood at the main entrance to the complex, near the Gardenworld Café. It was absolutely enormous, and I assume it must have been quite old because it was propped-up with an elaborate assortment of steel poles, stakes and ropes.

What used to fascinate me as a child in the early 1990′s, sitting in the café with my meat pie and iced coffee, was the string of Japanese tourists who would come via bus and have their photos taken beside that cactus. For whilst Gardenworld was certainly well-known to keen Melburnian gardeners, it seemed odd in a pre-internet age that foreign tourists would even know of the existence of Gardenworld, let alone make a visit in a bus.

I shot the above photo of the front of Gardenworld in 1999. I think it might have been my last visit to Gardenworld because I’d started university that year and also acquired a job in a retail nursery far closer to home.

Just recently, Gardenworld re-entered my conscience and so last week I decided to make a long-overdue trip back to a place that had meant so much to me as a child. I didn’t really know what to expect, but thought it might be fun to take another photograph from the same angle that I’d take the ‘cactus’ photo in 1999:

As you can see, the large cactus has gone and the rolling lawn has given way to a maze of raised beds containing a selection of succulents. I am guessing that the lawn disappeared during the crippling drought.

My first stop at Gardenworld was Collectors Corner, a large business that sells a range of orchids, cacti, succulents and bonsai. Apparently Collectors Corner started at Gardenworld in 1984 and was rebuilt and expanded in 1987. Collectors Corner is almost as big as the Gardenworld Nursery itself and was always a source of fascination to me as a child.

When one enters Collectors Corner, they are greeted by a range of beautiful orchids, bromeliads  and other tropical species which look so spectacular. I was pleased to see that the place hadn’t changed too much from how I remembered it.

It’s pleasant to walk the aisles, looking at the beautiful orchid species including Cymbidium, Dendrobium and Phaelenopsis. Collectors Corner is a serious business and so they have some serious facilities such as this beautiful but very humid orchid room:

The stock must be very valuable because signs warn of security cameras everywhere in that space. In fact, there is even a caged section where the rarest of rare species are offered for sale behind lock and key!

As one leaves the orchids, they progress to the cactus department. As a child, I always had a special fascination with cacti so this was a particular highlight. The cactus sales space was exactly as I’d remembered it, with row-upon-row of tiny pots for sale with every imaginable species of cactus on offer.

Like I did when I was a child, I walked every aisle, looking at all the various cacti.

One feature that has changed since I visited in 1999 was the cactus display garden.

One of the loveliest features at Collectors Corner are the display beds where one can see many of the species growing in a landscaped environment. I believe this also serves to house the proprietor’s personal collections.

When I used to visit in the 1990′s, there was a large hot shed with a clear roof that contained a large collection of cacti. One could walk along the paths around a small circuit and examine some massive prickly specimens. I recall being particularly careful to ensure that I didn’t trip over and fall because I could imagine myself tripping face-first into a barrel cactus!

The shed used to have a lovely trompe-l’œil on the wall which added to the impression that one was walking through an American desert. The shed has now been demolished and a new shed built in a slightly different location. Whilst being a larger space with a bigger collection of plants, it lacked the trompe-l’œil that gave the old space so much character.

From the cacti, one proceeds to the tropical species which includes Tillandsia, bromeliads and carnivorous plants.

One of the nicest spaces in this section of Collectors Corner is the small walkway through a mini ‘rainforest’ that is filled with many fascinating species. The walk even crosses a bridge over a ‘waterfall’ and ‘creek’ to a pond filled with fish. Unfortunately the waterfall wasn’t switched on when I visited, but I was really pleased to see the rest of this feature had been retained just as I could recall from my youth.

The combined and distinctive smell of humidity and moist potting mix is as evident here as in any glasshouse one is likely to enter. For me, it simply adds to the atmosphere.

The next section of Collectors Corner that one encounters is their significant collection of bonsai.

I was always impressed with their bonsai collection and even as a child, I understood that they must have been worth a considerable sum of money. The entire collection is housed in a yard that is bounded by a high fence topped with barbed-wire.

Some of the bonsais are literally chained to the pot and the bench that the pot is housed on, such as this amazing Monterey pine (Pinus radiata) that was sown from a seed in 1948.

The area consists of some very old bonsais, as well as smaller and newer plants for sale. I simply don’t know of another nursery in Victoria that has such an extensive range of bonsais of varying ages and species. It’s a real pleasure to wander the aisles and look at each individual work of botanical art.

Compared to my last visit in 1999, this area has changed somewhat. Having looked at the site via Nearmap, it seems that the space has been reduced in size and a new fence erected to accommodate works behind the nursery. There was still some building work occurring at the back of this space when I visited.

Of course, after so much horticultural exploration it’s time to proceed to the Gardenworld Café for something to eat.

When I used to visit as a child, my morning tea choice was always an iced coffee and a meat pie with sauce. Sitting there this time with a latte and slice, I was reminded of how things had changed.

Where once a few tables were arranged on a small area of brick paving under a giant Canary Island Date Palm, itself under-planted with Impatiens now sits an expansive decking area complete with café umbrellas. When I was a child I could see tractors ploughing fields on the other side of Springvale Road, but not any more. There are houses there now. The interior of the café used to have beautiful large pots of nodding violet (Streptocarpus caulescens) and these have gone too but otherwise it’s not too different, save for some minor redecorating internally.

From the café, it’s time to walk past Collectors Corner to the other parts of the Gardenworld complex. There used to be a soil supply business called “Soil’n'Spade” whose driveway we had to cross, but this seems to have disappeared. In its place is an expanded yard for Lotus Watergardens who specialise in aquatic plants, ponds, water features and the like.

I recall when I used to visit in the 1990′s that Japanese “deer scarers” (shishi odoshi or 鹿威し) were all the rage, but I could only see one on this visit and that specimen had somewhat rotted and was not operational. I do chuckle because for all the selling they did in those days, I have never actually seen one in anyone’s garden!

Next to Lotus is a hydroponics shop called Autopot Hydroponics. I am not sure if Autopot Hydroponics is the same business as the one that used to operate there. I do recall that aside from hydroponics, they also sold glasshouse systems and I recall as a child that I used to desperately dream of having my own glasshouse one day. For some reason Santa never did give me a glasshouse!

From Autopot, once proceeds to the actual Gardenworld Nursery. Even within the nursery, there are several businesses including One Stop Sprinkers and Semken Landscaping (a landscape architecture firm). But for me, it was the plants that were of primary interest.

Perhaps of the entire complex, the biggest changes were within the Gardenworld Nursery, especially the shop.

The large part of the floorspace within the shop that was once dedicated to plant stands, propagation equipment and sprinkler bits has been replaced with garden furniture and ornaments. This is not a phenomenon unique to Gardenworld by any means. I used to work at another retail nursery and witnessed the same trend during the time that drought-induced water restrictions were imposed and sales began to fall. Such a move became a commercial necessity. Other minor alterations had been made  to the shop layout and to some of the entrances and exits.

As for the nursery, nothing much had changed with the exception of a decade’s worth of new cultivar releases. The nursery was still laid out as I recalled and the quality and diversity of stock was still very impressive.

Back in the 1990′s, Gardenworld Nursery used to sell lovely enclosed wooden gazebos that could almost serve as a small building. They used to have one of these as a central ‘help desk’ within the nursery, but I noticed that it had been removed for a more modest desk that was unattended when I visited.

When I was a child, I used to especially like looking at the flowering seedlings. They were always available in such nice colours and new cultivars were being released all the time. I used to use some of my pocket money to buy a few punnets of seedlings (as well as other potted plants) to grow in my garden at home. Even as an adult, I still enjoy potted colour!

In the past 20 years, the Victorian nursery industry has changed a lot.

Where once the sector was dominated my small family-owned business that made Gardenworld a lonely giant, there has been a lot of consolidation with the entry of Bunning’s into the market. A combination of increased competition and drought meant that a lot of the smaller non-specialist nurseries disappeared. As was alluded-to before, many nurseries have had to diversify in order to stay in business.

It is therefore satisfying to see that this great horticultural enterprise has retained the charm and diversity that made it special, especially to a young boy fascinated by plants. I am not just happy for nostalgia’s sake, but I genuinely believe that Gardenworld is one of Melbourne’s ‘hidden’ gems. It has something for everyone.

If you enjoy gardening at all, I highly recommend a visit to Gardenworld. If you do make the journey, make sure you take your children too!

Gardenworld is located at 810 Springvale Road in Braeside and is available on Twitter via @Gardenworld.

On account of the lovely weather today, I decided to make the trip out to the small town of Olinda in the Dandenong Ranges to see the famous garden for myself.

I have to say that it was one of the loveliest gardens I have ever visited.

To begin with, the colour displays were absolutely stunning. Whilst the very first of the bloomers had just passed their prime, the majority of plants were in peak flower. Combined with the beautiful landscaping, sunny weather and ambience of the Dandenongs, it was a most enjoyable visit.

The National Rhododendron Garden was established in 1960 by the Victorian branch of the Australian Rhododendron Society on land leased to them by the State Government of Victoria.

The society quickly set about clearing the thick forest and planting shrubs but in 1962, a massive bushfire destroyed the site. Whilst this provided an initial set-back, the task of clearing the forest was made much easier and so the gardens that we see today were developed.

Many of the plants were propagated by society members from their own collections, or from material supplied by international rhododendron societies.

Rhododendron is a large genus of 1000+ trees and shrubs of the family Ericaceae which occurs naturally across moist parts of Asia (Himalayas, Japan, Korea, Thailand, Indonesia, Malaysia) and Australia. The taxonomy of Rhododendron is complicated, with a number of sub-genera representing the biggest groups:

• Vireya Rhododendrons: Rhododendron subgen. Rhododendron sect. Vireya
  
• Large-leaf Rhododendrons: Rhododendron subgen. Hymenanthes
• Deciduous Azaleas: Rhododendron subgen. Pentanthera
• Evergreen Azaleas: Rhododendron subgen. Tsutsusi

The National Rhododendron Garden has a large collection of representative species and culivars from all of these subgenera, as well as other Rhododendron species.

One of the nicest aspects of the National Rhododendron Garden is that it’s so beautifully landscaped, and not just with rhododendrons. Other cool-climate species such as dogwoods (Cornus), magnolias (Magnolia), conifers (including Sequoia) and tree ferns have been planted within the garden to add diversity and structure.

The property is surrounded by giant Mountain Ash (Eucalyptus regnans) and also features a large ornamental lake. Beside the lake is a pagoda in which one can rest and admire the scenery.

The National Rhododendron Garden has many different paths that can be explored. Some of them are sealed whilst others aren’t. That said, the garden is quite steep in places and it would take a fit person an hour to explore all parts of the garden without any rests.

For those who can’t manage to walk the steep paths, a small bus is provided and one can take a 25-minute tour for a small fee. Whilst such a tour would provide comfort and accessibility to those who would otherwise miss out, it provides no opportunity to study the plants up close.

The garden is now managed by Parks Victoria, a State Government agency. I found the staff to be most friendly and I even had a small chat about film versus digital photography with a few blokes whilst they took a break from planting Helleborus. They all seemed to be quite keen photographers too, and why wouldn’t they be when they work in such beautiful surrounds?

My only criticism would be that the labelling of the rhododendron species is limited, so that there’s no easy way of identifying a specific cultivar or species that one may find to be of interest. However I suspect this will be a minor concern for most visitors. The National Rhododendron Garden has an on-site café called ‘Café Vireya‘, but this was closed today on account of building works so I can’t comment on the quality of its fare or value-for-money.

For those who live within visiting range of the National Rhododendron Garden, now is the time to go and see it at its finest. The garden is open 10.00am to 5.00pm daily except Christmas Day, and is located 500 meters from the Olinda township along Georgian Road, off the Olinda–Monbulk Road (Melway reference 66 K6). Admission is free.