It may sound old-fashioned, but the quality of a person’s written English says a lot about that individual, hinting at their level of education, comprehension of concepts and attention to detail.

So what does some of our modern language say about ourselves?

Unfortunately these days, there are a lot of bad habits in writing and speech that are becoming increasingly prevalent. Many of these form part of a meaningless jargon designed only to prevent silence or to obfuscate the truth. Such a style of writing or speech would have been considered ‘uneducated’ just a few years ago but increasingly, such woeful examples of English are becoming normal in the most unlikely of places.

Many people have written about bad modern trends in language.

I understand that it’s a well-worn path and I am not trying to suggest that the English language is in a rapid decline. Nor am I going to participate in a popular Australian tradition and blame “the Americans” for all of these awful pieces of language either.

Nevertheless, I feel that I should document these particularly common examples in the hope at it will cause just a few people to consider how they express themselves vocally and in writing.

This is my bad English “hit list”:

1. You (as in I)

Here’s an example of a statement written in last Thursday’s Herald Sun by columnist Wendy Tuohy:

“Quite often, you have to remind yourself that it’s only April Fool’s Day once a year, so as crazy as it sounds what you’re reading must be true.”

This is, perhaps, the most common of the vocal offences and I am alarmed to find such poor expression now appearing in the columns of Australia’s most popular daily newspaper.

No, Wendy, I do not need to remind myself that it’s only April Fools’ Day (note the apostrophe) once a year. Perhaps other people might? A far better way of expressing this may be:

“Quite often, I have to remind myself that it’s only April Fools’ Day once a year, so as crazy as it sounds what I’m reading must be true.”

Or, if speaking generally:

“Quite often, we have to remind ourselves that it’s only April Fools’ Day once a year, so as crazy as it sounds what we’re reading must be true.”

I won’t even get into Wendy’s problematic suggestion that writing has a sound, but I am confident that you (yes, you dear reader!) understand my point. People are increasingly substituting the words I or we or even one for you. It’s wrong, yet is increasingly prevalent.

2. Repurpose (v.)

This particularly ugly word was delivered to me by an American speaker at a conference a couple of years ago. My colleagues and I, confused, looked at each other with amazement whilst the fellow kept uttering the word with a straight face as if it was legitimate. It isn’t.

According to the Shorter Oxford English Dictionary, purpose is normally a noun that refers to the reason that something is done or made an object to be attained, amongst other meanings. It can be used as a verb, but such use is archaic. In the 16th century, to purpose was to propose. Five hundred years later, such usage is unheard-of.

The word repurpose exists on the assumption that purpose is a verb that can describe how an object is given its function. For instance, I cannot say “I purposed this crate to hold milk bottles” as it is utterly nonsensical. Yet if I turn that crate upside down, according to some I can say “I repurposed this crate into a stool“.

If I resuspend an object, it means that I could have suspended it in the first place. If I redelegate a task, it means that I could have delegated it previously. The re- prefix before verbs in this context suggests that something is carried-out a second time. So you can see that repurpose makes no sense at all  because it couldn’t be purposed to begin with.

3. Incentivise (v.)

This is another nasty piece of jargon. The -ise (or -ize in US English) suffix is appended to nouns or adjectives and means “to make”. So to privatise means “to make private”; to socialise  means “to make social” and capitalise means “to make capital”.

Presumably, incentivise means “to make incentive”. It doesn’t of course, because it’s not a real word, especially in the manner in which it’s used: “We need to incentivise our workers to be more productive“.

No, you need to provide an incentive for your workers to be more productive. Yes, it’s a few more words but it makes a whole lot more sense.

Monetise is another horrible word that also fits into this category.

4. Speculate

This particular  example of inappropriate use appears to be popular with our politicians, most notably treasurer Wayne Swan. The Oxford Shorter English Dictionary lists speculate as a verb that now usually means to “consider, conjecture, wonder”. In essence, a person who speculates doesn’t know.

So this response of Wayne Swan’s made no sense at all when he was asked by ABC’s 7.30 what may or may not be included in the upcoming federal budget that he was preparing himself:

“Well I’m not going to buy into speculating about what is or is not in the budget in relation to any number of areas of policy”.

Back in 2009, he more-or-less said the same thing to Ali Moore, telling her that  he was “…not going to speculate about individual items in the budget”. Yes, his budget.

This particular affliction isn’t limited to Mr. Swan. State National Party MP Damian Drum told the Bendigo Advertiser on 1 May 2012 (p.4) that “It would be improper to speculate on whether any item in particular is included in the (state) budget…”.

The problem that these folk have is that they know what is in the budget. They just don’t want to say. If they truly are speculating, then that’s an even bigger concern.

5. Learning (n.)

Learning is a singular noun that describes “the action of receiving instruction or acquiring knowledge”, taken from the verb learn.

Can you have a learning? I’d have thought not.

Yet it seems in today’s corporate world one can use learning as a synonym for lesson. If you don’t believe me, here are some recent quotes from public officials and prominent businesspeople:

• City of Warrnambool City strategy co-ordinator Lisa Gervasoni said of a festival “It has been an honour to share our learnings about great Warrnamboolians of the past with the community and to meet their descendants.” (Warrnambool Standard, 9 May 2012, p. 2)
• Australian Submarine Corporation CEO Steve Ludlam told AAP MediaNet “The insights and learnings that can be taken from the Collins Class submarine project will be instrumental in the development of the future submarine” (3 May 2012)
• Maroochydore Chamber of Commerce president Ross Hepworth told Kawana Weekly that “David’s passion for sharing the Tasmanian experience will no doubt provide valuable learnings for our own regional economy” (3 May 2012, p.3)
• Rupert Murdoch even managed to squeeze the word twice into a single sentence when he was quoted in the Australian (27 April 2012, p.12) saying “Just as one of the great learnings for us as a business has been not to allow an operating company to investigate itself without absolute transparency to the corporate centre, which I think is one of the learnings from the failure in 2006 and 2007 of News Corp to get to the bottom of this, I also think it is difficult to allow an industry in and of itself to control itself on a voluntary basis, given the concerns that we obviously all have”.

Clearly I am not the only person to become especially irritated with learnings. In an article called What the Heck are Learnings?, Maeve Maddox cites some even worse of examples of this word being used quite inappropriately in a number of surprising contexts.

As a word, learnings is especially horrible, but what hope do we have when even the Department of Education in Queensland uses it? Of all of the organisations within our community, I’d have expected the Department of Education to have heard of lessons!

6. Stakeholder

Our own Macquarie Concise Dictionary lists a stakeholder as “one who has a pecuniary interest in an enterprise, having contributed funds to it”.

Listening to contemporary corporate jargon, a person would have no appreciation of the true meaning because in 2012, stakeholder has come to describe just about anyone who has something even vaguely to do with an organisation. Of course, one must “engage” one’s stakeholders if one is to succeed.

For instance, Australia Post has a whole page dedicated to stakeholders, as does Woolworths Limited, Veolia and the Salvation Army. It seems that stakeholders are suddenly everywhere.

The Challenge

So how do we beat this? I really don’t know.

As a community, should we raise awareness? Should we engage our stakeholders? We clearly need to incentivise the population to adopt these key learnings and cease repurposing words. You know what I mean, right?

Ugh!

A little while ago I noticed that the Commonwealth Scientific and Industrial Research Organisation (or CSIRO) had adopted a new logo.

There didn’t seem to be any fanfare about it at all and I cannot find a single press release about the change. What I find interesting is how the government science agency’s new logo bears a striking resemblance to that of Cisco Systems, a United States-based information technology company.

Designing unique logos is a difficult business at the best of times and I am not suggesting that CSIRO has engaged in any dishonesty. It just that their logo looks remarkably similar to Cisco’s.

CSIRO’s logo is probably a logical evolutionary leap from their previous one, which consisted of a stylised outline of Australia transected by lines. Cisco’s logo, which dates back to 2006,  is derived from an earlier symbol that featured a stylised Golden Gate bridge.

I can’t help but think that given their shared history in Wi-Fi development and the fact that there is only one letter difference in their respective names, a similar logo may be inevitable for two organisations that seem intertwined in several ways.

Last week I had the pleasure of attending the Melbourne International Flower and Garden Show at the Royal Exhibition Building and Carlton Gardens in Melbourne.

It was a great event, as per usual.

The popular festival of floriculture and horticulture made me think about how it’s come such a long way from what it used to be. I recall that it was called Garden Week back in the 1990′s and was held in the Fitzroy Gardens. In those days it was a much more modest event. Regardless, for a child who had a fascination with plants and horticulture it was an event to look forward to.

I remember going to Garden Week to represent Vermont Secondary College in the 1993 Victorian School’s Garden Awards, where I met Jane Edmanson and the late Kevin Heinze. From recollection, we didn’t win but it was a great day out and Edmanson and Heinze were both very friendly.

The show changed its name to the Melbourne International Flower and Garden Show (MIFGS) in 1995 and has expanded considerably since. On and off, I have been about every second year. The event is a great way to keep up-to-date with horticultural trends and fashions and see the latest products.

For me the starting point is always the Royal Exhibition Building. Traditionally this space has been filled with florists, floricultural displays, horticultural art and paintings as well as a place to host lectures from gardening ‘experts’.

I attended last Wednesday, which happened to be the opening day. Fortunately I work for an employer who offers ‘flexi leave’, so I used some of my credits and joined the retirees for a day at the show. Past experience has told me that this is eminently sensible, particularly because it’s much less crowded mid-week and the lack of prams and small children makes the flow of pedestrian traffic much smoother.

After arriving and looking at some of the displays, I decided to have a morning tea which I have to confess was extremely disappointing.

It never ceases to amaze me how the organisers of such events put so much money into the show, but then hire such poor-quality caterers to provide refreshments. The morning tea stand was extremely disorganised. Our order was lost after they took our money and receipt and then lost their only record of what we’d purchased. When we complained, they then questioned why we had no receipt! On offer was a small selection of uninspiring factory-produced pastries wrapped in plastic, as well as low-grade pulpy juices, a range of soft drinks and tea or coffee.

After morning tea I decided to view the stalls. I was somewhat surprised to discover that the Royal Horticultural Society of Victoria still exists. This once mighty organisation has become mute in recent years, but it was nice to see their stall which had an elegant display of plants from some of the state’s gardening societies.

My favourite stall within the Royal Exhibition Building was that of Flowers Victoria. This division of the Victorian Farmers’ Federation produced a beautiful but contemporary display of floral art in a corner of the hall.

I liked how they’d used winchester bottles to great effect in some of the floral displays. These looked beautiful when the sun shone through them. The stall also featured some lovely lilies and orchids in a more traditional display.

As one would expect at such an event, there were a number of gardening ‘personalities’ to be seen. Personally speaking, I am not too excited about spotting such folk but I was amused at the amount of excited attention that Johanna Griggs received. She certainly out-shone perennial favourite Jane Edmanson, who’s been doing the rounds for decades on Gardening Australia and radio stations 3MP and 3AW in Melbourne.

One thing I noticed as I walked the hall was that it seemed to be somewhat emptier this year when compared to previous years. Perhaps in light of the Global Financial Crisis, fewer exhibitors were present? Nevertheless, there were some terrific floral art displays inside the hall from a range of companies and artists.

Once outside, I had a much more enjoyable time looking at the trade and plant displays. It’s always great to see the specialist nurseries show off their unique varieties and there’s always some interest for me with the season’s new cultivar releases.

At one of the stands was Colin Campbell, a Gardening Australia veteran presenter who had a considerable audience. I can’t say that I was especially impressed when he told his captive audience that a potato tuber was “a seed”. I understand that presenters need to make gardening understandable for the masses, but scientific accuracy should always remain a priority in my view. Poor old Colin Campbell also warned his audience about the perils of  holding seedlings by the stem, which he demonstrated by… um, well….

One of my favourite moments was during lunch, when The Giant Seagulls came to entertain the crowds. These two human-sized birds provided much enjoyment for everyone as they squawked, fought amongst themselves, picked at peoples plates and of course begged for chips. I found myself laughing many times at their antics!

The lunch offerings were mildly better than the morning tea and the prices reasonable, although the choices were somewhat limited. We were able to get a seat rather quickly which would simply be impossible on a weekend.

After lunch, I went through all the various trade displays, noting the new cultivars that have been released and reviewing the new products on display.

I especially enjoyed the displays from Tesselaar’s, Oasis/Floriana and Gardenworld. The Gardenworld exhibit incorporated the Royal Horticultural Society of Victoria’s “Best Hanging Basket” competition.

I had quite a nice time walking around and choosing my favourite. The RHSV were running a competition where attendees could vote for their favourite basket and go into the draw to win a prize, which was a rather ordinary-looking planter box that looked like it was built from a packing crate.

Following on from the trade stalls, I viewed the display gardens which had been placed in an “Avenue of Achievable Gardens”. I liked the concept!

This was my favourite garden, although I am not sure how ‘achievable’ it is for a person on a normal income. I like the ironwork in the pergola and the sweeping and layered curves in the grass terraces and they make this shady garden work rather well.

Perhaps the final highlight were these rather cheeky garden chairs from another display garden that featured derrières!

It is a pity that better use isn’t made of potted colour and bedding annuals in garden displays. Perhaps people consider these to be old-fashioned or horticultural clichés or perhaps after a decade of drought, people consider them to require too much water.

The MIFGS has now finished for 2012 but I will be back in 2013. As always it was a good day out and I can recommend it to anyone with an interest in horticulture or gardening. Adult entry was $22.

It is no secret that I love the photo-sharing website Flickr.

I have had an account on Flickr since 2007 and have uploaded more than 3,100 photographs in that time that have been viewed by more than 107,000 people.

I have made many online friends as a result of Flickr and the website has been useful in attracting customers to my own photo website Photologium. I have always believed that Flickr is the best photo-sharing website and continue to believe this. But something disturbing has been settling in the back of my mind about Flickr for quite some time.

Read the rest of this entry »

I have just returned from a brief stay in New South Wales, where I had the experience of staying in two Formule 1 motels.

I have to say I was rather unimpressed with the sort of accommodation that was on offer at their Newcastle and Gosford establishments and wanted to share my experiences with you all in the form of a review.

I have been aware of the budget Formule 1 chain for quite some time but I had no idea what I was in for as I’d never stayed in one before. Clearly, the price should have been an indication to me, but it wasn’t.

The first stay was at Formule 1 Newcastle, which is actually in a far-flung dull suburb called Wallsend on the west of the city. I have stayed in motel rooms in Tokyo and in all honesty, this was hardly any bigger. In fact, I suspect that many of New South Wales’ petty criminals would enjoy a similar level of amenity in the state’s low-security prisons, but without the various hanging points. Read the rest of this entry »